Does He Take You For Granted?

The early days of a new relationship are exciting indeed. You’ve found a man who makes you feel special and who is fun to be around. Over time, though, as the two of you become more familiar with each other it’s easy to fall into the same old routine. When this happens you may start to feel as if he’s taking you for granted. How do you know if this is the case?

The Warning Signs

The sense of being taken for granted usually doesn’t just appear overnight. It kind of creeps up on you, a little at a time, until eventually you start to notice that something about the relationship is different. Here are some of the telltale signs that he may be taking you for granted:

  • He assumes you’ll always be there. This one can be subtle. Does he tend to ignore you when he’s around his friends? When you go out, does he seem to not care about dressing neatly? Does he turn to you when he needs something but push you away when you need something? Is he not as affectionate as he used to be?
  • He forgets to tell you things. Everybody forgets things now and then, but if it’s a pattern with him there may be more to it. Does he accept invitations for the two of you to attend parties and special occasions without telling you? Does he say he’ll go somewhere with you and at the last minute remember he has another commitment? When he’s late or doesn’t show up when you think he will, does he tell you later that he forgot when he was supposed to be there?
  • He doesn’t care what you do. Do you ever get the feeling that you could walk naked down main street and he wouldn’t react at all? If you break a date with him for some reason, does he just shrug it off without trying to reschedule? Does he say nothing when you appear for the first time with a new haircut or a new outfit?

What You Can Do About It

If you feel like he’s taking you for granted, don’t panic and don’t jump to conclusions. Think about specific examples of times when you’ve felt that way, and write down a short description of what happened and how you felt.

Ask for some of his undivided attention and tell him honestly how you feel, but don’t be accusing or blaming. If he denies that he takes you for granted, give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he just doesn’t realize he’s doing it, or maybe he doesn’t realize the impact his actions have on you. Share your examples with him so that he gets a better idea of exactly what you mean.

Most men will apologize and make an effort to be more appreciative of you. If he doesn’t, though, there might be something deeper going on with the relationship and you need to work with him to find out what it is.

What If I Notice He’s Making Changes?

 

“Affirmations are like prescriptions for certain

aspects of yourself you want to change.”

-- Jerry Frankhouser

Congratulations! Your man cares enough about you to listen to your feelings and take action to strengthen the relationship. Give him affirmation that you’ve noticed the changes he’s making and you appreciate his efforts. Relationship counselors advise that you say five positive things for every one negative thing, so keep this in mind as you’re reinforcing the changes he’s making.

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